I've never been this depressed or anxious before too, and trying to keep my mental health good as I can after all the stuff I've said on my previous post. I'm trying to draw again, but I'm very slow and having seizures when I draw so it's hard for me yet I'm trying too.

I don't know when I will be discharged from the hospital. Probably not or so... I'm such a failure because this one guy ruined my life. He goes by the name of Shawn (most notable for his OC that have 3 versions; we blocked each other for a very very long time, then found out he has account here), and whenever I keep remembering what he said, it gave me nightmares all the time, like no matter how hard I try to make my art better, I will never be as good to what he writes on the prompts for his AI to create art for himself and to his OCs for his personal gain.

I tried to hone my skills for many years despite not graduating, I work so hard to draw something good. But now... I just feel like I want to give up being an artist... I even dreamt myself of becoming an animator but now, I won't be able to because of the current AI that is happening.

I'm not getting any good either as I'm having insomnia and experiencing seizures too. I lose over to him. I'm desperate and hard to move on because of him. I only wish I was in a coma for so long. I really don't want to stay in this wicked world I'm living.

I don't know how long I have been hiding this... But this person (he's here in Newgrounds and I know his username) have ruined my life just for saying "originality is dead".

It was a comment about his character that looks like from a canon or copyrighted character. I told him that he should at least change his character looks and as I remembered, he said that it's ok and don't need to. Let's cut to the chase that he denied my suggestion and then telling me that originality is dead.

As an independent artist, I was unable to move on and I even thought that all my drawings and my characters that I make are not original. There are times I get inspired, and there are times I make my own ideas for my characters. That is what they called "creativity". So when he told me that, I suddenly felt like a worthless person on Earth.

I... attempted on ending my life just for that.

I didn't even graduated at college because of high tuitions, yet I continued to study and learn to draw on my own.

When I kept remembering what he said, I cried because I think I'm not good enough as an artist because I lack originality when I make art. I feel like my studies in drawing have wasted my life.

And now that AI have came to life, this person whom he said that "originality is dead" is now using AI to "create" art for himself, for his OCs and so on.

I once again struggled and cried because I feel like I'm a failure and this guy is probably mocking and backstabbing me from behind because he has this "thing" to make his OCs or art for his personal gain.

Once again, I attempted to end my life. Yet, here I am at the hospital and recovering. I shouldn't be living right now and just be dead because I feel that I don't deserve it. I don't deserve this life I have. I hated this person that I couldn't even forgive him. Probably he is mocking me once again together with his generator to make his art and OCs. He gained popularity because he kept generating art at DeviantArt.

I'm very stressed, frustrated, depressed and very anxious now. I wish I never wake up. I feel so hopeless and thinking that there's no point in living anymore. My dreams are even crushed while he gains more popularity with his AI.

I'm very sad. I'm completely shattered into millions of pieces. I'm so hopeless.

My last drawing I did was for V-Day and after that, something happened to me. I've been frustrated and having anxiety like 2 months now and in result too I got accident so I got rushed in the hospital by my older sibling. I thought I won't be able to walk again. The rest of the weeks got worser for me. I can't breath and collapse randomly. I even thought I will never be able to draw again too, but here I am and recovering at the hospital.

I also told my boss about my incident, and I thought I would lose my job. Thankfully, my boss said that I'm ok to rest and work when I can. I'm practicing my hand so I can draw once again. I don't know when will I be discharge, but hopefully to recover soon.

I finally registered my artworks for copyright with my sibling's help. We have 3 names that were registered for copyright:

• CyberX Studio (in case we change our name, we can still update it), this is primarily my sibling and I's studio
• Infurno, this is my furry game idea, it's a fighting game
• Bloodlines, I used this name as it focus on story of the descendants of my main OCs

Ai art is becoming a huge pain in the ass as of now. I decided to add signature, watermark and copyright logo on every art I will upload (I will be also updating my previous arts too on every social media I have. I'll delete them and reupload them again too). I registered for copyright protection in my country as I read one of those AI experts on Twitter that we need copyright protection to 'protect' our artworks being used on their Ais so that's what I read on their tweets.

After DA slapped their new Ai called 'DreamUp', I decided to post my drawings here, and not going back to them until they fixed everything. When they launched it, all our arts are opt-in on their Ai and no one notify us about it. Then the next update yesterday, and they said that they set it back to default that our drawings are now opt-out, and we still have to fill out their form that if they update their Ai, it will not access our drawings or something like that.

And what I can say about DA is that they are nothing but thieves and greedy people. They supported Ai art, and our feeds have been flooded with it. More and more fake artists are coming there.

I recently made a new commission info, you can check more details here: link

If you also want to support my arts, you can visit my Ko-Fi page: link

You can also find me at: DeviantArt | FurAffinity | Twitter | Instagram

I have few fanart requests on my list. I want to focus drawing my personal arts.

Not clear about my title, but next month is I'll be focusing on drawing fanarts, so if you have a request on your mind (fanart related only), drop your idea here.

But it depends if I'll accept your request or not, I have limits of what I can do or not